Photo by Laura Chouette on Unsplash "The Cinderella complex was first described by Colette Dowling, who wrote a book on women's fear of independence – an unconscious desire to be taken care of by others." ~Wikipedia In 2014, it occurred to me, in a stunning and humbling moment of clarity, that I was waiting for someone else to show up with the key to my life. As a single woman, I was seeking a partner with a big life. In my mind, big life was not necessarily synonymous with big money, big house, or big car. Big life meant that I wanted a partner whose life was filled with passion, purpose, meaning, and depth. I wanted to be transformed, and carried from my own so-so life, into someone else's purpose-driven life. What the universe provided me with, however, was an opportunity to experience, and utilize, my own sense of lack as a vehicle for transformation. In short, so long as I sought, outside of myself, that for which I desired, I would continue to attract that missing piece in others. And while I never thought of myself as a woman seeking rescue, that moment of clarity was a game changer. I discovered that in order to find people who led deeply passionate and purposeful lives, I had to become a vibrational match.
Love this and that you talk about the sense of lack .... I’m reading this while working ( subbing) and chilling while doing so .. learning myself not to sweat the job treat it as a lack to be outrun but a way to bring in cash so that I can orchestrate my life ... I was raised to believe that a prince would come and care for me .. each time blew up in my face and so this Cinderella is also buying her own glass slippers 👠... though it would have or would be easier to have a prince’s help when I think that my autonomy might be cramped ... I breathe a sigh of relief for my singleness.
Brilliant! And I did not remember-- if I ever knew -- that it was a RISD course that provided impetus. Love the course name. This piece should become a must-read for young girls.
I love this post Carol! It especially resonated with me right now, as I explore things I want to make happen in my life. You surpassed Cinderella. Bravo to you and so inspirational! xx
Love this and that you talk about the sense of lack .... I’m reading this while working ( subbing) and chilling while doing so .. learning myself not to sweat the job treat it as a lack to be outrun but a way to bring in cash so that I can orchestrate my life ... I was raised to believe that a prince would come and care for me .. each time blew up in my face and so this Cinderella is also buying her own glass slippers 👠... though it would have or would be easier to have a prince’s help when I think that my autonomy might be cramped ... I breathe a sigh of relief for my singleness.
Brilliant! And I did not remember-- if I ever knew -- that it was a RISD course that provided impetus. Love the course name. This piece should become a must-read for young girls.
I love this post Carol! It especially resonated with me right now, as I explore things I want to make happen in my life. You surpassed Cinderella. Bravo to you and so inspirational! xx
Love it. Cinderella was never my role model!