Curiosity
resurrected me.
Photo by Umesh Soni on Unsplash
"Curiosity is the wick in the candle of learning." ~William Arthur Ward
As a young girl growing up in Bristol, Connecticut (USA) in the 1960s, everything scared me: drugs, boys, exams, shopping. I expressed the early signs, if not the full-blown manifestation, of agoraphobia. For those unfamiliar with the term, agoraphobia refers to the extreme or irrational fear of entering open or crowded places. Ironically, home was my comfort zone, not because I felt safe there, but because I grew up under a cloud of addiction and dysfunction. It was easier to hide my feelings, my longings, my fears. And fear had me in its grip for a long time; it followed me into adolescence and beyond.
It wasn't until I approached my sixtieth birthday in the fall of 2014 that I thumbed my nose at fear and took the ride of my life. Literally. That was the October that I crowd-funded a creative project and set out on a solo cross-country road trip. Those thirty days on the open road changed my life, my focus, my self-confidence and my direction. Upon returning, I may have looked like the same woman on the outside, but on the inside, I had changed in profound ways. Curiosity had resurrected me.
Today, I am guided by an insatiable curiosity, a deep desire and commitment to travel, to experience new cultures, environs, vistas. As an urbex photographer, I love exploring abandoned theaters, hospitals, schools and churches. I have grown my courage muscles and they carry me far, they open doors previously closed. I don't wait around for a partner, or a friend to offset my discomfort zone either. I am an eager and confident solo traveler.
I was recently recruited to run for an elected position on my town's Planning Commission. After careful consideration, I threw my hat in the ring, not because I want to win necessarily, but because I am curious about local politics, curious about the process, the players, and service work.
If, according to English philosopher, Thomas Hobbes, curiosity is the lust of the mind, then I am a hungry lover.
I am curious to know how you overcame your fear. It would be interesting to visit the abandoned buildings for photos and see if I could add any spirit photos to my collection. I have thought about putting together a collection of my unexplainable photos and making a book. There are many skeptics and this creates a fear, because of my preference to avoid conflict and judgement. I know where the fear originates. Sometimes moving through it is the hardest part.
Happy for you!! I got my curiosity upgraded also after 50!! Maybe we are ready to change and family is grown. I am 85 years now and my curiosity still is active!! Love your musings. Enjoy your day 😍